How Dare You
by Bibliophilic12
Summary: "You're worse than UMBRIDGE!" Remus gets touchy when someone insults chocolate. Lily hates dark chocolate. (In which Lily accidentally insults dark chocolate in front of Remus Lupin so he gets offended and James gets protective. Has two later moments with references to the conversation. Includes my characters Emily and Em aas James and Sirius' sisters.)


_**Third Person**_

Lily, Emily, and Em were seated in the kitchen of Potter Manor having one of their usual discussions when James, Remus, and Sirius entered in search of the girls.

"Hey, what's up you three?" James asked.

"We were just talking," answered Emily.

"About what?" the ever-nosey Sirius asked.

"Chocolate," replied Em.

"What about chocolate?" the suddenly-interested Remus questioned.

"Oh, just our favorite kinds. I was telling these two poor, uneducated souls about the world of Muggle Chocolate," Lily answered.

"Really? I know there aren't things like chocolate frogs in the Muggle world, but what is so different about it?" James asked, thinking up new ideas about how to calm an angry Remus.

"Well, she told us there are different kinds, like milk chocolate, white chocolate, dark chocolate-" Emily started to explain.

"Which I really don't like," Lily interjected.

Gasps were heard from all three Marauder boys. Remus, because she said she did not like chocolate, and James and Sirius because they knew how Remus would react.

"What do you mean? You don't like it," Remus asked in a borderline dangerous tone that Lily was unaware of.

"I can't explain, it just isn't good to me. It tastes kind of… gross. I know people say it's supposed to be good for you, but I just can't stand the taste," Lily continued explaining, oblivious to the growing anger in Remus.

Finally, Remus exploded, "What do you mean you don't like chocolate?! How dare you?! That is the worst offense you can commit! That makes you worse than a Slytherin! Worse than a Death Eater! Worse than Voldemort! Worse than UMBRIDGE!" The girls and Sirius gasped, knowing James wouldn't stand for that.

James had had enough. Remus had crossed a line. "How dare you, Moony? You know we have rules for these things after that last time someone insulted chocolate. Umbridge is one of them. Death Eater was far enough. She wasn't talking about all chocolate, she was talking about one specific type in the Muggle world that you have never even tried or heard about before. Now, apologise to Lily!"

"I'm sorry, Lily. James is right, I crossed a line. Can you ever forgive me?" Remus, now apologetic, said.

"Of course, Remus. All is forgiven. Just, don't ever do that again. And I'm sorry for saying that where you could hear it. I know how you are with chocolate, yet I said it anyway, it's really my fault," Lily said.

"No, it's my fault for telling Sirius we were talking about chocolate," Em countered.

"It doesn't matter whose fault it was. Let's just pretend it didn't happen and go from there. Why don't Em and I take Lily to get ready for her date with James, and James can go with you two boys to do whatever it is that you three do," Emily proposed.

"That sounds great. I'll see you later James. Come on girls, let's go get ready. We want to surprise James with the dress we found the other day, don't we?" Lily accepted.

"Yeah, he's going to die when he sees you, Lily…" the girls continue their conversation as they leave the kitchens to go upstairs.

"What just happened?" Sirius asked.

"I don't even know," James replied.

* * *

"You know Lily, I thought you didn't like dark chocolate," Remus said innocently to the pregnant woman.

"Don't say a word, Remus," Lily threatened, as she ate the dark chocolate she was craving.

* * *

"Hey, Remus!" the newly-arrived Sirius called over the fighting.

"Yes, Sirius?" was the reply in the same ever-suffering big brother voice that he had adopted, despite the fact that he was one of the younger Marauders.

"I heard some of those Death Eaters talking about how much they hate chocolate," Sirius called.

"They. Shall! DIE!" Remus charged into the fight, taking down DEs left and right.

* * *

"I know what you did, Sirius," an annoyed Remus said.

"And what was that?" came the innocent reply.

"You used my love of chocolate against the Death Eaters," Remus accused.

"Now, would I do that?" Sirius, in his fake-hurt voice asked.

"Yes!"

* * *

 **AN: Here's a little one-shot written to prove that I am not dead. I'm sorry I haven't updated anything in forever. This was based on a conversation my friends and I had at lunch today and I had a study period right after, so I wrote this. This has my OCs Emily Potter and Em Black, the younger sisters of James and Sirius.**


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